It's been a while.

I haven't posted anything here for a while, mainly because things have been a bit difficult and I couldn't really think of anything positive to say. I didn't want to write a post that was mainly a big moan about how awful everything is. But then I thought, why does it matter? Sometimes things are difficult, especially in the current situation we are all in. The point is to try to adapt as much as we can and get though it.

Basically, although lockdown has been technically been eased, it hasn't changed much for us as we are shielding. It's starting to get to everyone a bit. We are all stessed, but still trying to homeschool, work, keep on top of housework , shopping etc. and move house (hopefully).

The house move was put on hold as our buyer works for an airline, which means he isn't sure he will still have a job in the next few months. Apparently, he should find out in the next week or so. If he keeps his job, he can still buy our house and we can actually move, so we are currently just waiting around to find out. It's very frustrating, as most of our belongings are packed in boxes, which are piled up around the house. I'm really hoping for a positive outcome! If we can't move, we'll end up staying where we are for at least a couple more years.

My Mum and sister, along with my sister's family, are all moving to Scotland in a couple of weeks. I have seen my Mum twice since March, at a distance. I haven't seen my sister or her family at all since then. We speak on the phone regularly, so that's something. But it's not the same as meeting up for a coffee and a chat like we used to. I probably won't see any of them again before they move. I'm happy for them, but I'm going to miss them. We have vaguely planned to go up to Scotland and see them early next year, but it will very much depend on the situation at the time.

So, that's where we are with everything right now. Hopefully, the next post will be a bit more positive!

Learning

Lockdown has been slightly eased, but due to various health reasons, we (my family) have chosen to stay in isolation. Nothing has changed/progressed with our house move, which is frustrating but understandable. Hopefully there will be some kind of progress in the next few weeks, but we'll just have to wait and see.

As my son seems quite interested in history at the moment (and we are still homeschooling), I decided that I would try to do a short course or something to gain more knowledge on the subject. I found loads of free, short history courses online, and I really want to do quite a few of them. I've started with one on Scottish Highland Clans, as I don't know much about Scottish history. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy history, so I'm pleased to have an opportunity to study it a bit more. It's nice that it's a subject we can learn about together.

Before all this, I was doing an OU degree in Primary Education. I was about half way through, but deferred so that we could move house and sort out everything that goes along with that. Also, to try to start some freelance copywriting work. Well, moving house and freelance work have all been put on hold now. Homeschooling and trying to stay healthy has taken priority, but it is quite nice to be studying something again. I also don't know what will happen with my degree now. I was meant to be going back to it in October, but I'm not sure I want to do that degree anymore. I don't even know if I'll be able to (depending on circumstances). The aim was to go into teaching, but I don't know if I want to now. I'm trying not to think about it too much, as I don't even know where we'll be living in October.

Difficulties now and things to look forward to

Lockdown is harder than I expected. Sometimes it's fine, I can see why we have to do it and it all makes sense. I can even see some positives about it - more family time, homeschooling, time to read and write, slowing down a bit, no deadlines or rushing around. But, there are other times when all I want to do is have a bit of a cry, because it feels like the end of the world and nothing is certain anymore. I know this is probably (hopefully) normal in these circumstances, and everyone is just trying to get through a day at a time.

I'm trying to write a bit, but sometimes I don't really want to do that...and I can't really think of anything to say that hasn't already been said a thousand times by a thousand other people. Just trying to be vaguely productive sometimes feels like hard work.

As hard as lockdown is, the thought of it being lifted is quite terrifying (to me, anyway). Basically, until we have a proper vaccine, I feel I should stay away from everyone. I suppose that if/when lockdown is lifted (even if it's just partial), we should be able to move to the new house. So that will be good. I'm really looking forward to being somewhere rural...especially in the autumn. Everything always looks more beautiful in the autumn, it's my favourite season.

I am really hoping to still be homeschooling in autumn, we could do some amazing nature-art, look at wildlife, go for long walks etc. I love all that sort of thing. Of course, we could do those things in any season, but they seem more fun in the autumn...I don't know why.

Life in Lockdown

I haven't written on here for a while. Mainly because hardly anything has changed, so I don't have much to say. We are still in lockdown, probably for at least another three weeks. I totally understand why, and I believe it is the safest way to deal with things right now. But it is hard. I shouldn't complain, really. Other people are in more difficult situations than I am, and at least everyone in my house is healthy. I thought I would find this relatively easy to deal with...but occasionally, it seems hard.

There is still pressure (or at least, percieved pressure) on people to be productive in this time. I still need to keep on top of housework, cleaning, shopping, trying (and failing) to write, homeschooling etc. All while there is a constant, nagging panic about the virus in the back of my mind. As well as the worry of what will happen when lockdown is lifted. I doubt we will be able to just go back to the way things were. And what if there is a second wave?

I don't know when I will next see any of my friends, my sister and other family members. I don't know when (or if) my son will get to see his school friends again. If we end up having to move as soon as lockdown restrictions are eased, we may not get the chance to see anyone before we go.

I suppose, in reality, none of this really matters. What matters is staying safe. If that means that we don't go further than the garden for the next month or so, then so be it. There is not much point in worrying about the things beyond our control (that's what I keep telling myself).

What is 'normal' now?

Lockdown looks like it will continue for a while, but what will happen after that? I've read various things saying that it won't be a straight forward 'get back to normal', it will be a sort of gradual process, possibly with future lockdowns if necessary. The old 'normal' way of life seems to be gone.

I suppose there could be some positives, people will hopefully be more considerate and appreciate others more, be kinder. Maybe more people will try to grow their own food, rather than buying vegetables in plastic packaging, or cook more rather than buying ready-made meals. The NHS and key workers will be valued a lot more than they were before, and hopefully paid more!

But there is so much uncertainty. Will we still rely on schools so much, or will some people carry on homeschooling? Is the National Curriculum as important, or is it worth teaching more life-skills like cooking, nutrition, gardening etc.? I know some schools already do those things....but will we focus on them more? Will more people carry on working from home? So many questions.

This all feels a bit unreal...like it's not really happening, it's all in a film or a book or something. I suppose that's because most people, myself included, have never had to deal with anything like this. We've only ever seen it in fiction. Now it's a sad reality and we all have to try to adjust to a different way of life. As time goes on, there will probably be a new kind of 'normal'.

Just some thoughts

I wonder if anything will change, long-term, after the pandemic is over. I keep thinking about things I will possibly continue, ar at least try to continue, after all this is over. Or even new things I will start to do. For a start, I am going to start doing some gardening. I'm also going to make an effort to go outside every day, even if the weather is horrible. Being outside was something I took for granted before all this, I am going to make an effort to appreciate the outside world a bit more. Maybe I'll start going running again (I am a terrible runner!), or just do yoga in the garden.

I'm not sure about the homeschooling. It might be something we can continue, but it depends on a lot of things. I don't even know when schools will be open again at the moment, or if I will be able to get my son into a school once we've moved. It's something to think about, though.

My sister is going to be moving away . She's going much further north, which will be lovely and I totally understand why she wants to do this, but it will be strange not seeing her (or my nephews) regularly. Still, it will be nice to do short (or longer) holidays to visit her!

Lockdown, delays and having time for things.

Due to the current pandemic, our move has been delayed. Well, paused really.  Obviously because everywhere is shut, various things cannot be done. It's fine, gives us a bit more time to pack and get ourselves generally sorted out.

What I am hoping is that in a few weeks, things will be a bit better and certain restrictions will be lifted. Then, we can actually move and get the more urgent bits of work done on the house. There is always the possibility of another lockdown in few months time, so probably best we sort the urgent bits first, then keep working on the other (less urgent) bits if we have time.

If there is another lockdown in the future, I'm hoping that we will be able to grow some of our own vegetables in the new garden. That might make things a little easier. Also, we'll hopefully be able to do some of the work on the new house ourselves...like re-decorating etc. It would be a good way to fill time!

As we have a bit of time at the moment, and can't really go out, I thought I'd spend a bit more time trying to do things with Alexander that are more like 'life-skills'. So today, we made jam tarts together. I think it's a good idea for him to learn a bit about baking and cooking. He likes to join in with gardening anyway, so he can help with planting and growing vegetables in the new garden.